Some photos take themselves. I was moping around, feeling guilty for staying the night at a $30 eco-hotel and wandered out to the deck to watch the sun set over the lake to find this scene. I had to step about five feet to the right to line up the horse and the reflection and I had the shot. All I had to do was crop it.
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I’m an idea man. No, really. I’ve been on the road for a couple of years and every now and then I come up with a good one. Here are a few thoughts and suggestions that might make the world just a tiny bit easier to deal with.
If you and I happen to cross paths on a remote jungle trail and you’re carrying a machete, please don’t run towards me with a big smile on your face. I know that you were just excited to point out that lovely bird in the tree and it’s very nice of you but now I have to change my pants.
Hey guys, Axe body spray is the patchouli of our time — just say no. That stuff doesn’t work anyways — I’ve guzzled gallons of it without getting laid once. I know the commercials suggest otherwise but they also claim I can maintain an erection while driving a race car and that’s never happened either.
If you’re going to charge me $20 or more to visit your park or archaeological site, I should at least get a free map. That’s twice what I’m paying for the hotel — having to kick down another $3 for a map is a bit much. Hell, even the black market kidney I just bought came with an owner’s manual and a warranty card.
Parks are a free fart zone. When out in nature, surrounded by trees and all of that fresh oxygen, a man has every right to proudly rip one, so quit looking at me like that. Instead, maybe you should teach your kid not to stand so close to strangers.
Antigua is a lovely place but I think your strict development regulations are strangling innovation. Yes, it’s nice that the town looks just like it did a hundred years ago but last time I was there tourism was way down. What you need is a Hooters-themed water park. Think about it.
I just saw a sign in Tikal that said “Templo 4″ and, directly underneath, “Temple 4″. I love bilingual signs, really I do, but if the only difference is a single letter, save the paint. I can probably sound that one out.
One of the disadvantages of not speaking the local language is that you never quite know what’s going on. On second thought, I take that back. I can’t blame the language for everything — there have been plenty of times where I understood every word but still didn’t have a clue as to what was happening.
But I think we can place my confusion in this instance solely on the shoulders of my Tarzan-esque mastery of the Spanish language. On my first morning in Flores, I awoke to a massive mortar-style firework exploding so near and so loudly that it set off a neighbor’s car alarm. At 4:30 in the morning. Ten minutes later –and just as I was nodding off– it happened again. BOOM! *chirp chirp*
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So there’s a new travel blog round-robin, tag-you’re-it kind thing going around. My buddy Kevin over at The Mad Traveler was evil kind enough to tag me so here’s my A to Z of Travel.
A: Age you went on your first international travel
I’m a late bloomer and didn’t escape the US until I was in my early 30′s, visiting Amsterdam, Italy, Malta and India. There were a few trips to Mexican border towns as a kid but those don’t count. Besides, what happens in Tijuana stays in Tijuana — even for five year olds.
B. Best foreign beer you had and where
A buddy introduced me to In de Wildman in Amsterdam and I can never thank him enough — it’s one of my favorite bars in the world. It’s been in business since the 1400′s –so the sign says– and they have about 200 Belgian ales to choose from. It’s nestled deep in a twisting alley and sees little tourist traffic, despite being close to Centraal Station.
C. Cuisine
Thai food has to rank pretty highly, though I did get a little tired of it after spending 6 months in the country and was craving Mexican food. Now I’m in Central America and craving Thai. I think I’m just a difficult person.
D. Destinations, favorite, least favorite and why
Oof, that’s tough. In terms of “most fun for your buck”, I’d have to say Laos — rent a cheap scooter and go nuts. I could spend (and have) days just watching the Mekong flow by. Least favorite: Malta. The ruins at Hagar Qim were interesting but the week I spent in Valletta was about five days too long.
E. Event you experienced abroad that made you go Wow
The annual Camel Fair in Pushkar, India was overwhelming. 50,000 camels and horses, thousands of families from small villages all camping in the desert for a week. It’s an experience quite unlike anything else I’ve seen. Photos here and here.
F. Favorite mode of transportation
Two wheels, all the way. I spent a month riding a motorbike across Vietnam and it was exhilarating, exhausting and downright terrifying at times but I’ll never forget a moment of it. Train would have to be my next choice — loves me a good train ride, especially in India.
G. Greatest feeling while traveling
Finding my passport and bank card after tearing my room apart, convinced I had lost them. I do this about twice a month.
H. Hottest place you traveled to
Pretty much anywhere in SE Asia in the summer (except for Dalat and Sapa in Vietnam — lovely mountain towns). I spent summer in Asia, winter in Nepal and northern India, then visited Austin during the hottest summer on record. I definitely need to work on my timing.
I. Incredible service you’ve experienced and where
Getting my ears cleaned in India was pretty fun. The craziest table service I ever had was in Cambodia, where both of the waiters fell asleep on a nearby platform while I was having dinner. I had to wake them to get the check.
J. Journey that took the longest
Something like 30 hours on an Indian train, back in 1999 when they never bothered to clean the bathrooms. I’d rather not do that again.
K. Keepsake from your travels
I like to pick up little stuff along the way: a small Buddhist amulet from my first trip to Thailand, an arrowhead I found in Big Bend NP, an old Tibetan coin I bought in India…
L. Let down site: when and where
Halong Bay in Vietnam. The only way I could go was to book a tour and it turned into a bit of a nightmare. Gorgeous scenery but it’s a real tourist treadmill.
M. Moment where you fell in love with travel
Waking up in the desert camped next to my motorcycle on my first ever adventure, a 1,500 mile run to Chaco Canyon in New Mexico. I never made it — the next day a major cold front rolled in and my bike started misfiring. I turned back just outside Albuquerque and rode for 16 hours to get back home, planning my next trip on the way.
N. Nicest hotel you stayed in
The fanciest place I’ve stayed at in the last 2 years was the Hilton in San Pedro Sulas, Honduras, but that was more of a bunker than a resort. The best experience I had was probably staying at Hotel Everest in Pushkar, India. Run by an amazingly sweet family that really took good care of me, even that time I got loaded on a bhang lassi.
O. Obsession – What photos are you obsessed with taking pictures of while traveling
I like it all, from wide expansive shots to close-ups of the tiny details. There’s color, texture and pattern to be found anywhere you are. You just have to look for it.
P. Passport stamps, how many and from where
Not enough! Netherlands, Italy, Malta, India, Mexico, Canada, Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Nepal, Burma, Korea, Honduras, Belize and Guatemala so far.
Q. Quirkiest Attraction you have visited and where
The Love Castle Sex Museum in South Korea rocked my world. Giant chicken-headed Wonder Woman statue? Unicorns getting it on? Yes, please. NSFW photos here.
R. Recommended sight, event, or experience
Songkran, the Thai New Year, in Chiang Mai is a crazy, fun experience. Three days of utter madness as the entire town goes to war with water pistols and buckets.
S. Splurge: Something you have no problem spending money on while traveling
The one thing I consistently spend more money on than I would like is food. After a week or two of the local fair I’ll usually give in and kick down the cash for some over-priced and poor-quality comfort food, like pizza, pasta or a burger.
T. Touristy thing you’ve done
I rode an elephant in Chiang Mai because my sister-in-law wanted to. It’s the most ridiculous form of transportation ever, even worse than riding a camel. I spilled my beer twice.
U. Unforgettable travel memory
When I first visited McLeod Ganj, India –home to the Tibetan Government in Exile– you could sign up to meet the Dalai Lama. Every month or two, he would greet tourists and Tibetan refugees. He’d look you in the eye, smile and shake your hand. The whole experience lasted about 3 seconds but I’ve never forgotten it.
V. Visas: how many and where
I hate visas because they usually take up a full page in your passport. I’ve got several from Cambodia and Laos (border runs), and one each from Thailand, Nepal, India, Vietnam and Cambodia.
W. Wine, best glass while traveling and where
Best ever was a $4 bottle of Chianti bought in a supermarket in Sienna, Italy while enjoying mushrooms and pasta cooked on a camp stove.
X. eXcellent Views and Where
The Tioga Road in Yosemite, Going to the Sun Highway in Glacier NP, Highway 12 in Utah all have amazing views (and make for great motorcycle rides, too).
Y. Years spent traveling
A month in Europe, 3 months on a bike in the US, 2 months in Amsterdam, 6 months in India, and approaching 2 years on this trip — call it three years, I reckon.
Z. Zealous sports fans
Travel tip: learn a bit about football (the round kind) and you can make friends anywhere in the world. Picking a “favorite” team is even better.
That’s my A to Z. I hereby nominate Chris from The Aussie Nomad , Ryan at Pause the Moment and Marsha at Single Occubancy. Tag!
I don’t know who the Mayans’ realtor was but he sure did them right on this deal. While not as large or historically important as Tikal or other complexes, the ruins at Tulum have the more dramatic setting and are well worth a taxi ride from downtown Tulum. I was there at opening time to beat the crowds, but with it being New Year’s Day whoever had the keys to the gate rolled in 45 minutes late. I shared the place with a busload of Japanese tourists.
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Check out more of my favorite photos HERE
My first hint that a circus was in town came blaring from a loudspeaker mounted to the top of a tiny van. It was patrolling the tiny cobblestone streets of Copan Ruinas blasting out the theme song from Hawaii Five-0 overlaid with rapid-fire Spanish. The Circo Latino Spectacular was in town.
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While waiting for the Coba Mayan Archaeological Site to open, I wandered around the nearby lagoon. It’s very peaceful in the morning and I only had to share it with a couple of herons and what I think was a crocodile peering at me from the water.
To view image at full size, click HERE.
Check out more of my favorite photos HERE
What’s better than sharing the top of a Mayan pyramid with 50 other travelers? Showing up again the next morning at opening time and having it all to yourself.
The Coba archaeological site lies just a short 1 hour bus ride away from Tulum, Mexico and is billed by Lonely Planet as being set deep in the jungle and feeling “like an Indiana Jones flick”. While I think that’s overstating it quite a bit –the jungle is more like a park– it is certainly worth a visit.
The prime location is both a blessing and a curse: easily reached from both Tulum, Cancun and Playa Del Carmen, it is a popular stop with the tour buses. The park opens at 8am but the earliest bus from Tulum leaves at 10am, so the crowds are kind of hard to escape unless you have your own transportation or opt to spend the night in Coba village, which is what I did.
$11 bought me a night in a fairly dark and dusty room at Hotel Bocadito (Note: there are some higher-end digs available if that’s how you roll, Sissypants). After dropping my bags off in my room, I was loose in the park by noon.
As were hundreds of others, bunched up in groups of 20 or 30 and listening to tour guides who shouted over each other to be heard. Photography was impossible (though the light was shot by that time anyway, to be honest) and every stela, carving or feature of interest was surrounded by a crowd.
The ball court was swarming with Italians, a Japanese group was surrounding what I think was an entrance to a tomb and the English-speaking guide (and drama student, apparently) was passionately explaining the Mayan calendar to a huge crowd. Good stuff.
The high point of any visit is Nohoch Mul, the Great Pyramid which –at over 140 feet– is the tallest pyramid in the Yucatan. And best of all it can be climbed, if you don’t mind a little company.
It’s a steep scramble up narrow, worn steps and I’m out of shape and lazy — not a good combination. I made it to the top but my legs were rubbery, doing some kind of off-tempo Charleston dance by the end. I found a spot in the shade and quietly wheezed myself back to full consciousness while an endless parade of people tramped up the steps, took their photos and headed back down.
It had all the charm and ambiance of a busy bus station.
And because at least half of them spoke English, I caught a lot of the commentary. It reminded me of my first adventure overseas — I’d been traveling through Italy with a friend for weeks when we decided to visit Malta. We didn’t know it then but this was a favorite destination for the English retiree crowd and I remember being stunned one evening at a cafe when I suddenly realized I could understand everything people were saying.
I remember then being disappointed that it was all such mundane stuff: Mildred’s bunions were acting up again and Harold had been constipated for three days now. Somehow, hearing the background chatter in Italian had been much more romantic — it was so easy to imagine that they were talking about philosophy or quoting poetry. The truth is their bunions were probably acting up too.
I headed down, which is much trickier than climbing up, and made my way home on tired legs.
At 8:00 the next morning, I was waiting at the ticket office and inside the park two minutes later, one of only two visitors. The other was a friendly German woman — it was her first visit so she stopped along the way as I charged on. Heading straight for the pyramid, I had some time to work the stiffness out of my legs — it’s a good 2-3 kilometers from the entrance.
I made it there without seeing another human being. Convinced there was a marauding horde of tourists right behind me, I climbed as fast as my legs would allow (the Charleston made an appearance again) and soon found myself at the top of a 500 year old pyramid. All alone.
Endless green jungle stretched to the horizon and I could see the nearby crocodile-infested lake I had passed on the way to the site. Birds chirped and tittered in the woods below and the morning sun blazed down.
After taking a bunch of photos and then horsing around –skipping backwards like Curly of the Three Stooges and hooting like a monkey– I realized that there really isn’t much to do on a pyramid. At least, if you’re not into that whole human sacrifice thing. (Which, for the record, I am not).
So for the next half hour, I just sat and relaxed, enjoying the breeze and the sounds and soaking it all in. Every now and then, I would fondly pat the rough-hewn rocks beneath me. Mine.
All good things must come to an end — hearing loud laughter, boisterous conversation and occasional yelling wafting up from the jungle cover, I decided my time was up and headed down before this incoming tour group showed up. Reaching the bottom, I found not a tour group but four Italians emerging from the trees.
I’m pretty sure they were discussing philosophy.
I was just back in the States for a week or so, flying home to surprise my parents for Christmas. The flight really put a strain on my budget since it was a last minute idea and I was paying holiday rates, so I limited myself to spending no more than $150 on new gear. Time was short, as well, so I was limited to things that would ship immediately. This is what I ended up with:
Alfa USB Long-Range WiFi Adapter
After some head-scratching and digging through forums I did get the driver and application installed and I can say that so far it’s speeding up my download speeds and grabbing signals I can’t see without it (I’ll post a full review after I’ve had a chance to test it). The app is a little clunky and it’s a pain screwing on the antenna every time but if that means I can work in my room rather than in a hotel lobby or at that cafe across the street, I’m all for it.
It’s fairly easy to use: screw in the antenna, plug in the USB and launch their app. It will show a list of wifi nodes. Select one, click ‘connect’, wait for it to log in and then switch from wifi to the the USB connection in your network preferences and you’re done. I haven’t found a way to get it to remember passwords, though, so it can be a hassle typing it in each time.
They offer two additional antennas that should reach even further but I wasn’t able to have them delivered in time. I don’t know how durable it is –it’s made of cheap plastic– but it weighs nothing and if I can get 6 months use out of it it’s worth the price to me.
Barska 10×40 Monocular
There are times when I’d like to see something closer up, so a monocular seemed like a good option. It only cost $40, has the same power as binoculars and only weighs 9 ounces, so I don’t mind cramming it into a corner of my day bag. And at that price, I’m not paranoid about it walking off again. The optics are pretty bright and sharp. It is a little slow to focus but I can live with that considering how little I’ll be using it.
Timbuk2 Messenger Bag
I generally carry my laptop and camera with me, so being safe from an unexpected downpour is pretty important to me. And the Swig certainly performed well in that regard — my only real complaint was that it was just a hair too small for the SLR and required careful packing to fit everything in.
I’ve used Timbuk2 messenger bags for years — my main transportation has been a motorcycle for a decade or more and I have always been impressed with their durability and ability to keep the wet stuff on the outside of the bag. This one features a lot of pockets, which is always welcome, and has a narrow pocket for the laptop (though not a padded laptop sleeve as the old pack had). Everything fits easily and so far it’s comfortable. I generally carry my day pack slung off one shoulder so it feels pretty natural.
At $70 for the large size, it’s more than I wanted to spend but I expect to get 2-3 years worth of use from it. Considering that I once spent $50 on a fancy high-tech shirt that I threw in the trash just 2 weeks into my trip, I think it’s a good investment.
Added anything new to your kit lately?
Please note that these are affiliate links, meaning that if you purchase one of these items from Amazon I’ll get 4% of the sale. Buy that monocular and I’ll make a buck and change. Buy a Mercedes and I’ll name my first born after you :)
There’s a lot to like about Antigua. It’s charming, clean, relaxed and easy on the eyes. Even better, it has just enough quirks to make things interesting. Here’s a few of my favorites:
The guy who rings the church bells is nuts
I really can’t figure out the church bells here. In Copan de Ruinas the bell would ring once for every hour — when it woke you up at 5 am, you could count the rings and think “I would have liked to have slept for another 4 hours”. That’s useful information.
But here, whoever is working that rope goes at it like he’s having a grand mal seizure. I counted 41 tolls one morning at 9 am. I have no idea what significance that number might hold other than that it’s a prime number. Maybe there’s a Guatemalan Rain Man up there, just marking time until he gets his shot at Vegas.
And there’s something about the mountain air here that plays with the sound levels in weird ways. It sounds something like “ding ding Dang CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG Dang ding ding…” Every time it happens, I wonder if that bunk acid I took back in the 80′s has finally kicked in.
Suck it Naples — we have three volcanoes
It takes a certain amount of chutzpah to build your capital city within the blast radius of three volcanoes, especially after the previous one has been destroyed by a volcanic mudslide. But the Spanish did and it makes for an impressive sight, especially in the morning.
The most active one can be hiked fairly easy, though I didn’t — I have a trick knee and the lava hadn’t been flowing so it didn’t seem worth the limping afterwards. That’s my excuse, at least.
The highest one can be hiked as well but requires a climb of something like 50,000 feet straight up while dodging gunfire from bandits. There’s even an alligator pit. It’s so strenuous I had to stop the tour operator halfway through his description to rest and catch my breath.
Dangerous curves ahead
Now this isn’t specific to Antigua or even Guatemala but after spending over a year in Asia, it’s nice to see women showing off their figures and not immediately thinking “put some clothes on, touron“. And what figures they are — my friend Rich and I spent a week running into lamp posts and falling out of chairs in Honduras before we acclimated. (Don’t tell his wife, Maria, that I said that.)
At breakfast a few mornings ago, a stunningly beautiful woman joined some friends at a nearby table. She was well past fifty yet still wore jeans poured out of a paint can and sported the kind of cleavage you could lose your keys in. God bless her.
Cobblestone streets that don’t kill
The stones they use to pave the streets are small, rounded and well-set, unlike Copan de Ruinas where the streets are paved with only the finest imported rubble. Walking home in the rain at night there is inviting disaster — you may as well pick up a plaster cast on the way.
And why does this matter in Antigua? Sidewalks here easily fit two Guatemalans or one of me. So far my ankles are still intact.
The Maya are anti-giants
They really are a tiny people, on the whole. At six feet, I’m used to being the biggest guy around but I’m a giant here. I wandered into the back of the market one day where people from the surrounding villages had gathered and it felt like I had stumbled into a village of very tanned Hobbits. It took all of my meager willpower to resist sticking my arms out and stomping through the place, shrieking like Godzilla.
Instead, I tried my best to avoid knocking anything over and stay out of the way as they all elbowed each other and tittered amiably at the huge gringo in their midst.
